I find myself.

They say finding yourself is one of those things you do, in your early twenties and in college, through dating and socializing. They say that a career and a job help define yourself and they say that a straight path towards your goals will help you find yourself. I don't know about those things. I know that when I was young I thought I knew myself, I stood up for myself and what I believed in at any opportunity. But as I got older, I grew slightly more reserved. There was a time that I was out of my element during a session. I used to feel nervous. I was cautious not to put too much personality into a session for fear I might seem unprofessional. But I've realized something now, that even when I don't feel like I can find myself in my own life, I know I can find myself when I step behind the lens and focus on the bright smiling face of a child, or the love a couple shares after 60 years of marriage. It brings tears to my eyes. I can't express the caliber in words,  how doing what I do makes me feel. Maybe photographs aren't that important to some, or maybe just a "say cheese " snap shot from an old throw away camera is good enough for others, but what I do, it makes me yearn to have an extra of myself to follow me around for my entire life and capture every moment that I know will be missed if it's not captured in a photograph. Those moments where someone else creates an emotion, a family member tells you how lucky you are to have your husband, or you realize how blessed your life is, for the people who are in it, and you walk across the room to hug your father and tell him you love him. I want someone to capture those moments for me, just like I do for my clients, and my friends and family.
I find myself. I know who I am when I am 'camera in hand', its not just something I do when I'm getting paid, I look for those special moments that I would love the most from a special day, and I try to save them.

Always. In my life, I try to save things, people and lives and animals...I find my true self in trying to save things and help people make realizations about themselves and I find myself when I hold a camera, because I know that what I am doing, if not now, but someday, will be important to someone other than myself. And if I can save those memories for others now, for later, I will always be happy behind a camera. I will always be myself.